Nighttime Negotiator Pillows

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

"Here's the plan. I use white noise to cover your snoring and you use earplugs to cover the white noise."

"Tonight the covers stay on my side."

"I need to see your budget proposal."

Human Behavior Institute. Out Experiencing Lunch.

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

"Houston, we have a problem!"

'But I'm not tired yet!!!'

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

"No screen time means more scream time."

"I've memorized so many passwords, things are starting to get weird."

"I realize you want to enjoy every last minute of summer, but it's not possible to stay awake until school starts."

'Early to bed and early to rise? It's a deal.'

Playerpen - 'Naptime already?'

'What do you mean, it's good for me and I'll like it? That sounds like a contradiction in terms.'

'All right. I'll get forty winks, but not one wink more.'

"All night I dreamed I was at work. Do I get overtime for that?"

'Whenever I need a little peace and quiet, I do without,'

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

'Yes of course he can borrow my lawn mower just as long as he only uses it in my garden...'

'Early to bed and early to rise. I like a saying with an escape clause.'

"Please! Just let me stay up one more hour. Then I promise I'll fall asleep right here in front of the TV."

"But I'm not even tir..."

"I wish you wouldn't interrupt when we're trying to decide which channel to watch"

...and don't forget to ask them for more overtime.

"No, no, boy. It's Tuesday. Wednesdays are your nights to sleep on the big bed."

"Yes, of course you can borrow Gerald's lawnmower, but only if you take him too."

'5 pounds of liver ought to be enough to get your husband to take you out for dinner.'

Picking overhanging fruit.

If you have 5 dogs, 3 will be asleep.

"I say it's genetically altered, and I say the hell with it."

"Read my weight NOW!...NOW!"

'Apparently, Phillips, you want a lawsuit on your hands!'

'This is my primary place of doing business, although I do sometimes do it on my neighbor's lawn.'

"It's the people downstairs complaining about the noise again."