Nighttime Negotiator T-Shirts

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

"Here's the plan. I use white noise to cover your snoring and you use earplugs to cover the white noise."

"Tonight the covers stay on my side."

"I need to see your budget proposal."

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

"Houston, we have a problem!"

'But I'm not tired yet!!!'

"I've memorized so many passwords, things are starting to get weird."

"No screen time means more scream time."

Playerpen - 'Naptime already?'

"I realize you want to enjoy every last minute of summer, but it's not possible to stay awake until school starts."

'Early to bed and early to rise? It's a deal.'

'What do you mean, it's good for me and I'll like it? That sounds like a contradiction in terms.'

'All right. I'll get forty winks, but not one wink more.'

'Whenever I need a little peace and quiet, I do without,'

"All night I dreamed I was at work. Do I get overtime for that?"

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

"Please! Just let me stay up one more hour. Then I promise I'll fall asleep right here in front of the TV."

'Yes of course he can borrow my lawn mower just as long as he only uses it in my garden...'

'Early to bed and early to rise. I like a saying with an escape clause.'

...and don't forget to ask them for more overtime.

"I wish you wouldn't interrupt when we're trying to decide which channel to watch"

"But I'm not even tir..."

"No, no, boy. It's Tuesday. Wednesdays are your nights to sleep on the big bed."

'5 pounds of liver ought to be enough to get your husband to take you out for dinner.'

"Yes, of course you can borrow Gerald's lawnmower, but only if you take him too."

Picking overhanging fruit.

If you have 5 dogs, 3 will be asleep.

"I say it's genetically altered, and I say the hell with it."

"Read my weight NOW!...NOW!"

"It's the people downstairs complaining about the noise again."

"I'll read you a story but on condition that you convert and download my vinyl record collection onto this blasted thing."

'Apparently, Phillips, you want a lawsuit on your hands!'

'This is my primary place of doing business, although I do sometimes do it on my neighbor's lawn.'