Tv Time Master Gifts

'When they go back to school, you'll be able to try out your Father's Day gift.'

"They grow up so fast."

Lazy Octopus

'That's right, we're going all the way to the top floor ... I'm late for a meeting!'

Bad times to sneeze

'We'll have to end it there, I'm sorry - we're running out of time.'

Workaholics anonymous open all day every day.

Watchdog

'The Cup Final's just starting-think I should wake him?'

Sign reads: No lingering over a good cup of coffee.

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"I'm leaving you. I would have told you earlier but the time just never seemed right."

'He just got in. Better give him a chance to catch his bearings.'

'I just never thought you would turn into such a clock watcher.'

Track runner running out of track

"When I know he's had a rough day, I always put a few drops of lavender on the TV remote before he gets home."

What Dads Are Made of,,,

'I've had enough of these everlasting arguments - I say you're late!'

"Hey, don't kill the messenger! I just display what he tells me to!"

In and Out

"And coach says to hurry it up because we're delaying '60 Minutes.'"

"Turn off the TV and go to bed - I'm your mother, and I approved this message."

"My father tried to help me tell time, Mrs. Davis, but I couldn't tell which of my hands was bigger to show the hour!"

'This has been the Five O'Clock Report -- we now switch you to the Six O'Clock Report....'

"Please! Just let me stay up one more hour. Then I promise I'll fall asleep right here in front of the TV."

It's 10pm...do you know where your homework is?

"I wish you wouldn't interrupt when we're trying to decide which channel to watch"

Building a house.

"Our TV has a 'fair' feature. It knows when you've dominated the TV, so it automatically switches over to my show."

Mute. It is sort of like saying "shut up," but no

Policlicks.

"Won't be a moment - I'm just on Twitter insulting someone who insulted me."

All charged up and nowhere to go.

'The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his ***** dates at this ***** stage which fits in with the 'Management change' consultant who said....'

Man with TV listings - It's not easy keeping track of my social life."