Tv Time Master Gifts

'When they go back to school, you'll be able to try out your Father's Day gift.'

"They grow up so fast."

Lazy Octopus

Bad times to sneeze

'We'll have to end it there, I'm sorry - we're running out of time.'

'That's right, we're going all the way to the top floor ... I'm late for a meeting!'

'The Cup Final's just starting-think I should wake him?'

Workaholics anonymous open all day every day.

Watchdog

Sign reads: No lingering over a good cup of coffee.

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"I'm leaving you. I would have told you earlier but the time just never seemed right."

'He just got in. Better give him a chance to catch his bearings.'

"When I know he's had a rough day, I always put a few drops of lavender on the TV remote before he gets home."

Track runner running out of track

'I just never thought you would turn into such a clock watcher.'

'I've had enough of these everlasting arguments - I say you're late!'

"Hey, don't kill the messenger! I just display what he tells me to!"

"My father tried to help me tell time, Mrs. Davis, but I couldn't tell which of my hands was bigger to show the hour!"

"Please! Just let me stay up one more hour. Then I promise I'll fall asleep right here in front of the TV."

"Turn off the TV and go to bed - I'm your mother, and I approved this message."

In and Out

'This has been the Five O'Clock Report -- we now switch you to the Six O'Clock Report....'

"And coach says to hurry it up because we're delaying '60 Minutes.'"

"I wish you wouldn't interrupt when we're trying to decide which channel to watch"

It's 10pm...do you know where your homework is?

"Our TV has a 'fair' feature. It knows when you've dominated the TV, so it automatically switches over to my show."

Building a house.

'You have 3? minutes to boil an egg or tell me why you deserve a cost of living increase.'

'The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his ***** dates at this ***** stage which fits in with the 'Management change' consultant who said....'

'Now that Jim sits in front of a computer all day, he's lost the will to watch TV.'

"Won't be a moment - I'm just on Twitter insulting someone who insulted me."

Man with TV listings - It's not easy keeping track of my social life."

Policlicks.