Tv Show Sprinter Pillows

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Check your universal remote control at the door.

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

"Let's finish off our night of being productive by starting another season."

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

"This guy's a terrific defensive lineman. I once saw him chase down a quakerback for nearly 40 yards before sacking him. It was in a shopping mall, but still..."

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

Birthday To-Do List

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

Inactive wear store.

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

'I would've done my homework, but they kept saying 'stay tuned'.'

"Shouldn't you be studying?

'Dad, is this like ... you doing your own thing?'

T-Rex Racing: A Short-Lived Sport

"It's time to get the couch gutters cleaned again."