Tv Show Host Fan Gifts

David Dickinson

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

Applause

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

Parents start infant on the way to fame.

'Because it was there, Dave, because it was there.'

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

'Now stay tuned for 'Hope - Myth or Reality', to be followed by 'Reality - Hope or Myth'.'

Men discussing a book on a chat show

Death Styles of the Rich and Famous

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

"Sorry, you're not cut out to be a mime artist."

Clive Anderson

"Dad, will you play judge and tell me if Raymond or Joey is the father of my baby doll?"

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

The Mom quiz show

"Thanks Dave. I don't know about you folks, but I can feel it coming in the air tonight."

"Hi, I'm Jamie Theakston and this is Dogs Might Fly."

"Today on the ask Sadie show, we'll be addressing one single topic: 'Wolverine.' Specifically, we'll be talking about how most of you freaks who were obsessed with it for months are no longer talking about it. You people today have the attention span of a chimpanzee!!! That's an average of about 20 seconds, for those of you who still remember what I just said."

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am 62 years old and was fired from my job of 22 years just before xmas 2010. What should I do? Sincerely, Irene. Attack! Stop! Enough, Sadie. Haven't you been listening? The mean-spirited, virulent partisanship of talk show hosts must end. People were hurt and some died. Aren't you the ultimate partisan, you coot? That's different lady! Fasten your seatbelts.

"So, colony collapse disorder - how funny is it?"

"Your Honor, the witness, in my opinion, has failed to establish credibility."

"Granted, there's no business like show business, but that's not the business I know."

"Well I think the Real question is..."

"I see myself as a lot like Garbo, but very much a people person!"

Good Morning Britain has just achieved something previously thought impossible...by making Piers Morgan the most likeable man on screen.

'Sorry, viewers, I was going to show you one I made earlier but it's been scoffed by the second assistant sound engineer.'

Magic Trick

Retired Talk Show Host.

Elvis impersonator, managed by Col. Parker's nephew, Eddie.