Tv Show Gifts

'We've seen everything - we might as well switch US off!'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

Trial by Media

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Showbiz Awards

Zombie standup

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

Television Readers.

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

Assault 'n' Vinegar

Horror movies

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

'If only every year was an election year.'

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.