Television Series Gifts

'I know na-sink, na-sink!' - Sgt. Schultz's secret is discovered

Star Wars vs Star Trek

'Sorry, but TREKKIES are not considered an organized religion.'

'Only one of you will survive to the end of the series.'

"There's nothing on worth watching and we've been watching for three hours."

Dalek gardening...

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

Trial by Media

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

Showbiz Awards

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Benedict Cumberbatch

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

Bowled over again!

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

Horror movies

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

Television Readers.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."