Tv Schedule Analysts Gifts

'Even the TV dinners are a repeat.'

'Sue didn't watch soap operas all the time. She also reads books'

Succession 2

"Oh, goody. More reality-based crap."

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

"Agenda item 14 C, does anyone have any idea what happened in Game of Thrones?"

I hope that "golden showers" dossier about Trump is true. That'd be awesome. How so, little buddy? Well, I was always a big fan of the cold war. I loved "Red Dawn" and "War Games" and "James Bond" and all those really cool cold war movies. If it's true that our new president is actually being blackmailed by the Russians, we might finally have a real "Manchurian Candidate." I've calculated that the number of "Twilight Zone" episodes that might still come true has just grown by half a dozen. I hop

"We can't turn back the clock. Trust me, I tried. It really messes up your schedule."

Woke Jersey Shore

'I'm not sure if it's the programs or the commercials, but one is supposed to be a lot worse than the other.'

New Course At The New School

Andrew Marr

"I'm not sure what to watch...'Enterprise' or 'Sabado Gigante.'"

"Sadie, you were around in the sixties...was 'Mad Men' accurate?"

TV scheduler's garbage in and garbage out baskets..

'This mindless blather is edited for TV.'

'We've got too many sitcoms, Miss Dudley -- pull the laugh tracks on half of them and run them as soaps.'

'There's no decent comedy on TV nowadays. Why don't they bring back Mr Blobby?'

"The robbery and car chase are better in the movie but the hostage situation was definitely better on the cable news coverage."

Building a house.

You've got to stop condescending to the customers. Whatever do you mean? You abuse them for not recycling, for eating high-fructose sugar, for watching reality tv shows. Hardly. I absolutely understand that some people who have not been blessed with a high level of education and information make foolish divisions. It's not their fault. Condescending! Good use of a big word. HOJ.

The following blank screen is brought to you by the Booksellers of America.

'We'll dress them up as characters from musicals, make them live in a lighhthouse with an antelope ... it's reality TV at its best.'

The Judgmental Algorithm

'We've got too many sitcoms, Miss Dudley -- pull the laugh tracks on half of them and run them as soaps.'

'How much time is left? Eight minutes?' S helly consults her basketball-time-to-real-time conversion chart.

"He's still planning what to watch on TV tonight."

Moving to earlier and earlier time slots, comedian Jay Leno would eventually host 'As the Jay Turns' at 8am.

'No specials will be seen tonight, so that we may bring you our regularly-scheduled programs....'

"Nah, I just don't fancy it anymore."

Television: Vast Wasteland. . .Vaster Wasteland.

'A health report today warned skeptics, who take everything with a grain of salt, could result in abnormal hypertension. . .'

"Que crazy! All these 'reality tv' shows are so phony! People fighting...calling each other names...making enemies! Why can't they be more realistic...like the characters on my telenovela!"

"But see, now we'll know which episode we're at and what channel it was on."