Tv Schedule Analysts T-Shirts

'Even the TV dinners are a repeat.'

'Sue didn't watch soap operas all the time. She also reads books'

Succession 2

"Oh, goody. More reality-based crap."

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"We can't turn back the clock. Trust me, I tried. It really messes up your schedule."

Woke Jersey Shore

'I'm not sure if it's the programs or the commercials, but one is supposed to be a lot worse than the other.'

New Course At The New School

"Sadie, you were around in the sixties...was 'Mad Men' accurate?"

Andrew Marr

TV scheduler's garbage in and garbage out baskets..

'This mindless blather is edited for TV.'

'We've got too many sitcoms, Miss Dudley -- pull the laugh tracks on half of them and run them as soaps.'

'There's no decent comedy on TV nowadays. Why don't they bring back Mr Blobby?'

"The robbery and car chase are better in the movie but the hostage situation was definitely better on the cable news coverage."

Building a house.

The following blank screen is brought to you by the Booksellers of America.

The Judgmental Algorithm

'We'll dress them up as characters from musicals, make them live in a lighhthouse with an antelope ... it's reality TV at its best.'

'We've got too many sitcoms, Miss Dudley -- pull the laugh tracks on half of them and run them as soaps.'

'How much time is left? Eight minutes?' S helly consults her basketball-time-to-real-time conversion chart.

"He's still planning what to watch on TV tonight."

Television: Vast Wasteland. . .Vaster Wasteland.

'No specials will be seen tonight, so that we may bring you our regularly-scheduled programs....'

"Nah, I just don't fancy it anymore."

'A health report today warned skeptics, who take everything with a grain of salt, could result in abnormal hypertension. . .'

"Que crazy! All these 'reality tv' shows are so phony! People fighting...calling each other names...making enemies! Why can't they be more realistic...like the characters on my telenovela!"

Another cretinous dating show

"But see, now we'll know which episode we're at and what channel it was on."