Tv Recapper Gifts

"When I grow up, I want to be a brilliant TV recapper."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

...and now for the news in briefs...

"I could afford a degree in broadcast journalism, but not the makeup."

A series of cameras go through a war zone.

Two reporters interview each other.

'Failure is not an option. But inaction due to foot-dragging and red tape is a definite possibility.'

'Uh Oh...Looks like we're going to finally get a little winter.'

Bruce The Unhelpful Weatherman

'I wouldn't say you're boring, Chuck, but you're the only person I know who records The Weather Channel.'

"And now a special report from 'News 4' Science Editor, Dr. Frank Lovell, on how to remove your own gallbladder."

"Reporting live from my apartment in my pajamas, this is Herb Nielson."

"Dad, how do you become a TV reporter?"

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'

"What does he mean it's been another year for the history books? Doesn't he think history books have enough of them?"

"I think he looks very anchorly today."

"Isn't it time you had your bath?"

Olympics.

' Police investigating the theft of sixty cases of custard powder have released this photofit of a man they'd like to question.'

Journalist.

'He cries when the News is sad!'

"Try to remember to flex your ankles and if possible walk up and down the room."

"This Just In."

Next on Fox! Clowns Without Makeup.

'700,000 killed and millions injured... and now, here's Lenny with the lighter side of the news.'

Unprofessional Journalists.

"You majored in journalism with a minor in voyeruism. You're perfect for us!"

"Wake up, Larry - you're missing the pregame."

Voice Recognition TV.

Talent Agency: Here Today/Gone Tomorrow.

'I write the crawl...'

'The programme following this one is not suitable for children.'