Tv-obsessed Kings Gifts

'This is great! -- since he got cable, he hasn't had time to oppress anybody!'

Connected to Technology.

"I've looked at their viewer profiles and if we watch this channel we'll be 20 years younger."

'The ecosystem can fend for itself, but you're blocking the tv.'

"There's the remote!"

Beware of Watchdog

'Aye, but can you guys get 500 channels with those hooks?'

Soap Opera

"Five million channels! This is heaven indeed!"

'Try putting a remote in one hand aan a beer in the other and see if he starts up.'

'Morcambe and Wise.'

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

'The reason man hasn't been to the moon in 35 years is because there's no T.V. and recliner up there.'

"Thanks for coming Bob, the reception was terrible before..."

"Boy o boy, there's really nothing worth watching on TV late at night..."

'Let's go to Tracy Island, the grass looks really nice there!'

Plasma Screen

Who's on First

Ian McCaskill

"You were supposed to abduct these people! Not watch their stupid TV!"

"Plus cute. Did I mention extremely cute, for a fusion chef?"

'He's got tennis viewer's elbow'

'Help pay motoring fine - anyone want to buy a Scottish castle?'

Trivia Pursuit

Birdhouse has satellite dish on its roof.

"Too late! George has spotted that the new series of X-factor has started!"

"Bless you."

"Chivalry actually isn't dead. It's on life support being fed by the sports channels."

'Turn up the volume. I can't hear a damn thing.'

"This is a test. This is only a test. Question #1..."

'Forgive you?...sure I'll forgive you...the moment I see something I really want on the shopping channel.'

"Order now, and get the gold AND the frankincense! Now how much would you pay!?! But WAIT..."

'It's not called 'deja vu' anymore, it's 'another chance to see'...'

'Because of the heinous nature of your crime, I hereby sentence you to life imprisonment without cable TV!'

Junk food telly.