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"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'It is too snowing!'

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

Police Box

Munster Island.

Lorne Greene

June Brown

Mr. Rogers' lockdown

Pamela Anderson Ward.

'Oh, you'll like school -- It's like Sesame Street, only in 3-D!'

"We ought to send PBS some money so it can afford better pledge-break specials."

Chameleon's TV Camouflage

'I don't know, son, if Cain and Abel watched Mr. Rogers. I just know they didn't have any neighbors.'

'We now pause for technical difficulties....'

'You can see pictures - without an aerial?'

Head of Dumbing-Down

'Oh no, it's Carol Vorderman singers'.

Dawn French.

Martha Stewart's punishment - "Well, if you ask me, it might have been worse. The court could have sentenced me to watch all my old television programs."

'The picture's snowy.'

'Even the TV dinners are a repeat.'

"One, one Milky Way! Two, two Milky Ways! Three, three Milky Ways! Four Milky Ways! Ah ah ah!!!!!"

It's a good idea but, it'll never catch on.

'I can fix the fuzziness and the vertical hold, but I can't do anything about Chris Matthews.'

'Disgusting! It's a blow-by-blow description of an episode of Terry and June.'

"Damn! We just missed hitching a ride with Fred Flint-Stone."

Red Indians patiently waiting for what they think is television to be switched on, on an American locomotive.

Okay

Antiques. Special on Low-Def.

'It took us a long time, but we finally made it -- take us to Mork and Mindy.'

'Remember, kids. Pester your parents for Chunkos.'

Kellogg's Wapners

"He SAYS that's his classroom, but looks to me like he's found some old reruns of Hollywood Squares!"

Happiness is a warm TV.