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"Hi, I'm Jamie Theakston and this is Dogs Might Fly."

Showbiz Awards

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

"Oh, Jeff, you swore this wasn't a podcast."

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

Fishermen

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

Vanna White: The Later Years.

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

"In other news a new study indicates dogs are still better than cats."

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

LATE NIGHT WITH DAVID MAMET

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

"I wanted a partner... I got a co-host."

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

'We'll have to end it there, I'm sorry - we're running out of time.'

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous