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"Good heavens! There's not a single documentary about World War 2!"

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

'There's nothing on.'

Tree house.

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

Can't Touch This

'Och lye the news'

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"Our next story should interest all our viewers...it's a real can of worms."

"What would you like to watch again?"

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

Incorrect weather forecasts.

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

It's a Dog's life

"Then we agree. 10 minutes of your news, then 10 minutes of mine."

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'

'The opinions expressed by Burt are not necessarily those of Ernie.'

"So much for finding intelligent life on this planet."

A Woman Holds Up a TV Guide.

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

And here is the day's news that we are going shove down your throat.

'The sword in the stone was just a warm-up - now you must remove this remote control ...'

'Anything good on tonight?'

"Dad, I was thinking...can I get a tattoo...right here!"

Man ignores a football kicked through the window because his attention is on the TV.