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"So what'll it be, dentists on ice, or extreme cabinet making?"

"He used to be much more adventurous..."

'There is nothing worth watching tonight.'

"What would you like to watch again?"

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Trust me, there's nobody to rescue that way...'

'There's nothing on.'

Tree house.

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

'Och lye the news'

"I know he's funny, boy, but he’s also the president of the United States."

"All the celebrities come here."

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

'Sorry I'm late everybody,I got lost.'

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

"Hungry? I'm ravenous, Norman, I could murder a lentil cutlet."

It's a Dog's life

"Then we agree. 10 minutes of your news, then 10 minutes of mine."

'...According to the survey, Canadians prefer the doggie style positions, so the can both keep watching the Hockey game...'

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

A Woman Holds Up a TV Guide.

"So much for finding intelligent life on this planet."

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

'The opinions expressed by Burt are not necessarily those of Ernie.'

"I'm referring you to a specialist."