Tv Guide Enthusiasts Gifts

'Must be a misprint - we're not watching a banned play!'

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

'There's nothing on.'

"No way. Lando, my friend. Lando." "There's no way Lando Calrissian was a better betrayer than Alex Krycek." "Ask any passerby on the street. 9 out of 10 of them won't even know who Alex Krycek is." "That's utter foolishness. Everyone knows Alex Krycek. He was basically the X-Files' anti-Mulder. He could out-weasel Billy D. Williams any day." "Stop!" "When men start arguing over which fictional character was a better betrayer, they have officially run out of things to talk about." "That Kr

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"I find that hugely offensive!"

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

Big screen TV.

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

Love is when you watch television together.

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"Would you like to sleep through the film or the variety show?"

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

"It's not just the same old crap—it's wider."

"Open a wine that will make me want to watch the shows you want to watch."

"Remember that '70s TV show 'What's Happening'!? Did they ever come up with an answer?" "I don't know, but it makes me wonder if Marvin Gaye found out what's going on." "The black hole of cannabis-induced queries"

"We laughed. We cried. But mostly we watched TV."

"I've had enough of watching grass grow. What's on the Paint Drying Channel?"