Tv Guide Detective Gifts

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

A boy acting suspiciously

'There's nothing on.'

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

"What would you like to watch again?"

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

A bunch of global warming skeptics want to join eco club. It's a school organization. You have to let them in. But they just want to harass us with selective facts! Today: Eco club. So? Debate is good. You have :An Inconvenient Truth" to counter their arguments. Oh. Great. Now we'll have to read it.

"Another CSI spinoff? What's this one called?"

'So, what's it gonna be? Are we gonna watch a good cop show tonight, or a bad cop show?'

Weird – I think everything they watch is called, That actor looks so familiar what else have we seen him in.

"I found a partial thumbprint. Let's get the heck out of here"

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

Violence on TV.

'So now you sniff out drugs. That's it, no more TV cop shows.'

"We've picked up a tail."

The Future of Detective Work

You're on the "Ask Sadie" show. What's your problem?! I just found out "Empire" and "Star" are in the same universe. For months I've been telling everyone I knew that "Star" was a blatant ripoff of "Empire." But then I found out they're made by the same people and they're in the same tv universe, and I'm like totally fine with it now. Stop it! We speak "English" on this show, not "tv addict"! Wait a minute ... are we talking about soap operas? Because there's an exception for soap operas. No, we

"I love my unreliable narrator. You?"

'Did you see who pushed you?'

"Hey - didn't I see you on TV last night?"

"You're not leaving until we know everything."

'Go ahead and dig, you said! what are the odds there's a pipe right there, you said!'

'Britain's filthiest restaurant!'

'A piece of skin from the killer's arm, by jove. Let's go back to the lab, clone it, and identify the murderer when he grows up.'

'I gather this is your first sting operation.'

Billy & Whitey Bulger

Dave could never work out how he lost his nose stud.

'Good news, Mr. Wilson - the DNA-test just proved your innocence!'

"Unfortunately, I stole the identity of a person with an outstanding warrant."

Aflac Fan and Matlock Fan Argue

"Is this your first time with an undercover cop?"

"The problem is there's no engine. Just a mysterious plot device."