Show Detectives Gifts

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

A boy acting suspiciously

Joan Hickson

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

Marriage a la Mode - Death of the Earl.

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of "CSI: Miami" to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45pm? The Youtube generation grows up fast.

"Another CSI spinoff? What's this one called?"

'So, what's it gonna be? Are we gonna watch a good cop show tonight, or a bad cop show?'

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

Weird – I think everything they watch is called, That actor looks so familiar what else have we seen him in.

"TV violence made him do it. Says he'll name shows if we drop the charges."

"I found a partial thumbprint. Let's get the heck out of here"

Excessive Paperwork

'With all those presents Santa carries, do you think he packs heat? . . . And maybe he's not really fat, but he's wearing a kevlar vest.'

Tonight's Lecture: Contesting the Will. It's going to be about either inheritance law or who really wrote Shakespeare's plays.

'So now you sniff out drugs. That's it, no more TV cop shows.'

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

"I wish I could help you, but you're on the set of a hospital soap opera."

"Hmmm...this'll be a tough one..."

Violence on TV.

'I am unable to find the words to respond to that.'

Office Gossip: Your Business (In) and My Business (Out).

"We've picked up a tail."

Bank robber looks worried, in Northern Rock bank run.

I thought you might want to color it in. Color chalk. 1 1 1 2 1 1 4 4 5 5

The Future of Detective Work

'The sun'll be up soon. Can I go downstairs now?'

'Good afternoon madam, we're Federal Bear Investigators. We believe a miss Goldilocks lives here?'

"Hey - didn't I see you on TV last night?"

"I love my unreliable narrator. You?"

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'