Tv Guide Detective T-Shirts

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

A boy acting suspiciously

'There's nothing on.'

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

"What would you like to watch again?"

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

'So, what's it gonna be? Are we gonna watch a good cop show tonight, or a bad cop show?'

"I found a partial thumbprint. Let's get the heck out of here"

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

Violence on TV.

'So now you sniff out drugs. That's it, no more TV cop shows.'

"We've picked up a tail."

"You're not leaving until we know everything."

"Hey - didn't I see you on TV last night?"

"I love my unreliable narrator. You?"

'Did you see who pushed you?'

'Go ahead and dig, you said! what are the odds there's a pipe right there, you said!'

'Britain's filthiest restaurant!'

'A piece of skin from the killer's arm, by jove. Let's go back to the lab, clone it, and identify the murderer when he grows up.'

'I gather this is your first sting operation.'

"Is this your first time with an undercover cop?"

Billy & Whitey Bulger

Aflac Fan and Matlock Fan Argue

"Unfortunately, I stole the identity of a person with an outstanding warrant."

Dave could never work out how he lost his nose stud.

'Good news, Mr. Wilson - the DNA-test just proved your innocence!'

"The problem is there's no engine. Just a mysterious plot device."

"Clever plot, but who can concentrate without some gratuitous sex and violence?"