Watching Detective Films Gifts

"Mister Watson, come here -- I need to know why we're not on a first-name basis."

A boy acting suspiciously

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

The Philip Marlow family

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

The following wildlife film is sponsored in part by a grant from...Mother Nature Foundation.

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

'So, what's it gonna be? Are we gonna watch a good cop show tonight, or a bad cop show?'

"Nothing like the History Channel to get you to appreciate these peaceful times we're enjoying."

"Ok, don't move. I want to capture the drama and intrigue of your life."

"Check this wall for fingerprints."

'I'm a simple man really beneath the code words and the black ops and the multitude of fake passports.'

"I found a partial thumbprint. Let's get the heck out of here"

'This will help you keep track of who's who.'

"Whack him. And if you can't whack him, redact him."

"Hmmm...this'll be a tough one..."

Violence on TV.

'So now you sniff out drugs. That's it, no more TV cop shows.'

"We've picked up a tail."

"You're not leaving until we know everything."

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'

"Hey - didn't I see you on TV last night?"

The Sun: A History. . .

'Oh, how moving, it's a woodland burial, Dennis.'