Genre Detective Gifts

"Can I return this, please? You sold me a chic-lit-rom-com, and I distinctly remember asking for a plain chic-lit."

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

Can You Spot the Differences?

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

"Elementary, my dear Watson- the cartoonist did it."

A boy acting suspiciously

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

Joan Hickson

The Elliot Ness monster.

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

'Listen up, Baskerville! This is MacDonald! Those hounds of yours are scaring the E-I-E-I-O out of my animals!'

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

The Philip Marlow family

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

Marriage a la Mode - Death of the Earl.

"That's hardly necessary!"

"Homes on Holmes"

Mystery of the Poets

'..It's just that with all your amazing powers of deduction and elimination, Holmes, I'm just a little surprised that the best solution you can come up with for seeing off the hound of the Baskervilles, is to 'chase them across the moors with a hoover. up

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

'I believe the murderer is in this very room.'

"Amazing deduction, Holmes!"

Illustration for 'The Notting Hill Mystery'. (woman pulled out of the river).