Tv Drama Addict Gifts

Snack machine in EastEnders canteen has a sign saying: 'Well out of order.'

'West Enders.'

'I gotta go, Jezebel. My soap is coming on: 'Nine Lives to Live'!'

"Tia Carmen's answering service...can I help you? When will she be available? I'd say during the next commercial break in her telenovela."

"Our telenovela will return after a word from our sponsor."

Showbiz Awards

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

Stephen Fry

Big screen TV falling through floor

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

'Hello Mr Preston? This is an ALIEN speaking. We have landed in your paddock. We have mutilated your cows. We have made loud crashing noises...what the hell is on your TV that's so special?'

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

NOVA. Don't worry --- The "vacuum of space" is not that kind of vacuum.

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

Starvation Watching

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

"First, the disclaimer: I'm a doctor portraying an actor portraying a doctor."

Can't Touch This

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what is good on Netflix.

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

Triceratops watching television with satellite dish made from own horns.

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

"Can you do battle with him later?... He's watching, 'Game of Thrones'."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

The cradle of mankind

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"