Tv Drama Addict Prints

Snack machine in EastEnders canteen has a sign saying: 'Well out of order.'

'West Enders.'

'I gotta go, Jezebel. My soap is coming on: 'Nine Lives to Live'!'

"Tia Carmen's answering service...can I help you? When will she be available? I'd say during the next commercial break in her telenovela."

"Our telenovela will return after a word from our sponsor."

Showbiz Awards

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

Big screen TV falling through floor

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

'Hello Mr Preston? This is an ALIEN speaking. We have landed in your paddock. We have mutilated your cows. We have made loud crashing noises...what the hell is on your TV that's so special?'

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

"First, the disclaimer: I'm a doctor portraying an actor portraying a doctor."

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

"Is anything good on?"

The cradle of mankind

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

Triceratops watching television with satellite dish made from own horns.

'Dear, you're not supposed to take it seriously...it's a reality show!'

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."