Tv Critic Shark Gifts

'Do they think we'll just watch anything?'- Sharks watch tv.

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

Difference of Opinion

American Idle.

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'What does it say, Dad?'

Can't Touch This

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"I like it but does it get only the one channel?"

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

'It's not as impressive as it looks. He only watches fishing shows.'

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

Can't Touch This

'Relax, dude - I got your back.'

Christmas TV...

Meet John Henderson. - The only journalist NOT to have interviewed serial killers in prison...

A slow Day on the Rolling News Channel

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

'Every TV show seems to have a lucrative phone-in competition these days.'

'Do you want to watch the weather/natural disaster channel, the nuclear proliferation channel, or the gun violence/Kennedy assassination channel?'

"I suppose we have Judge Judy to thank for all this."

'I'm a has-been celebrity - get me in there!'

Diana Inquest - 'It's time to move on, and start making a TV mini-series of her life.'

'Well, kids -- I guess it all started to fall apart when they canceled 'Seinfeld'....'

'In an unexpected development, an illegal alien won 'American Idol.''

Weird – I think everything they watch is called, That actor looks so familiar what else have we seen him in.

Silly News.