Tv-binger Expert Gifts

"The less believable, the more I like the reality show."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

'There's nothing on.'

Early Colour TV

Star Wars Audience

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'Now that's Real TV!'

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

'He ordered those 'natural male enhancements',and now he watches football all the time!'

Do you go for Hannity or O'Reilly? Tough call. O'Reilly's presence is so big, fearless. Whereas Hannity has a wicked fast tongue and such inner strength. As symbolized externally by his jawline. O'Reilly is so tall. Something strange is happening. Coulter's a bit masculine for my tastes. Ditto. HOJ.

“We thought it was so smart getting the phone out of the bottle, but then it went right for the clickbait.”

'Did I doze off for a couple of years? Since when did cupcakes become a big deal?'

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

"Can you do battle with him later?... He's watching, 'Game of Thrones'."

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

Wordplay: Me.

"It's 100% commercials."

'I don't believe in blind dates... the last time I got fixed up I got neutered.'

If I survive this, I'm reinventing myself as a television pundit.

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

"This is why the doc said to not binge-watch the Eating Channel!"

"I never said I liked this show...I'm only enjoying it because you hate it."

"You seem very remote."

'I wish you'd hurry and decide which film you're going to sleep through.'

"I'm just saying, if you had to turn off the TV, would you still remember how?"

A man watching t.v. with his skull hinged open to reveal the same man watching the same t.v. . . .

English People With Servants Having Problems - On Demand

'This unexpectedly concludes tonight's program -- the sponsor bailed out.'

'Thanks for tuning in - we'll try to pander to you.'

"Just when you thought every possible permutation of the cookery contest show had been exhausted here's Battlechefs. A cookery contest show on a ship!"

"I don't believe the "Smart TV" is the one always turning to women's beach volleyball."

"I have a great idea. Come up to my place and we'll watch all 13 episodes of House of Cards!"

"Dinner will be ready soon, I hear the pizza truck rounding the corner."

'Not another elimination show!'

Couch potato.