Television Binger Gifts

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

Overnight Programming

'That Energizer Bunny has gone too far this time! -- interrupting a pantyhose commercial!'

'Here's a film we've only seen five times this year!'

ITV Digital begging fund.

New study: Brain Fat.

'Did I doze off for a couple of years? Since when did cupcakes become a big deal?'

"Hey - THAT's a good trick!"

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

'There's nothing on.'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

Star Wars Audience

'Now that's Real TV!'

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

"Aye, 'tis the elusive Moby Dick!"

“We thought it was so smart getting the phone out of the bottle, but then it went right for the clickbait.”

"Can you do battle with him later?... He's watching, 'Game of Thrones'."

Do you go for Hannity or O'Reilly? Tough call. O'Reilly's presence is so big, fearless. Whereas Hannity has a wicked fast tongue and such inner strength. As symbolized externally by his jawline. O'Reilly is so tall. Something strange is happening. Coulter's a bit masculine for my tastes. Ditto. HOJ.

'He ordered those 'natural male enhancements',and now he watches football all the time!'

"This lockdown is GREAT! - We can spend all day on our computers, eating takeaway junk food and watching crap TV while gambling on our iphones!"

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

TV Watch(ing) Dog for sale.

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

"This is why the doc said to not binge-watch the Eating Channel!"

Wordplay: Me.

'I don't believe in blind dates... the last time I got fixed up I got neutered.'

"It's 100% commercials."

'Wow! These advancements in TV make the news even more frightening.'

Unable to get going each day without her dose of Katie Couric, Lois shifted her schedule to be in sync with the star's new evening news job.

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

"I never said I liked this show...I'm only enjoying it because you hate it."

'Thanks for tuning in - we'll try to pander to you.'

"I don't believe the "Smart TV" is the one always turning to women's beach volleyball."

English People With Servants Having Problems - On Demand