Show Binger Gifts

"Do you want the volume set to barely audible dialogue or overwhelming loud music?"

"I'm only gone one night a year and you still watched our show without me?"

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

Horizon.

'Unlike you, I never felt loving Lucy was a binding social contract.'

'I want to have a good talk with you.' - 'Can it wait until after primetime.'

'We interrupt this program and you can't do a thing about it - BWA HA HA HA HA HA!'

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

'There's nothing on.'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

Star Wars Audience

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'Now that's Real TV!'

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

"Aye, 'tis the elusive Moby Dick!"

“We thought it was so smart getting the phone out of the bottle, but then it went right for the clickbait.”

Do you go for Hannity or O'Reilly? Tough call. O'Reilly's presence is so big, fearless. Whereas Hannity has a wicked fast tongue and such inner strength. As symbolized externally by his jawline. O'Reilly is so tall. Something strange is happening. Coulter's a bit masculine for my tastes. Ditto. HOJ.

'He ordered those 'natural male enhancements',and now he watches football all the time!'

"This lockdown is GREAT! - We can spend all day on our computers, eating takeaway junk food and watching crap TV while gambling on our iphones!"

"Can you do battle with him later?... He's watching, 'Game of Thrones'."

'Did I doze off for a couple of years? Since when did cupcakes become a big deal?'

"It's 100% commercials."

'I don't believe in blind dates... the last time I got fixed up I got neutered.'

'Wow! These advancements in TV make the news even more frightening.'

Unable to get going each day without her dose of Katie Couric, Lois shifted her schedule to be in sync with the star's new evening news job.

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

Wordplay: Me.

TV Watch(ing) Dog for sale.

"This is why the doc said to not binge-watch the Eating Channel!"

"I never said I liked this show...I'm only enjoying it because you hate it."

English People With Servants Having Problems - On Demand

'Thanks for tuning in - we'll try to pander to you.'

Will Smith's Oscar