Crime Show Binger Gifts

"Don't worry, boss—we whacked your skis."

"Get that kid out of here."

Crime scene. Police. CSI Unit. Jewelry. It was a perfect theft. They didn't leave any evidence. Ah, "stainless steal"!

'This will help you keep track of who's who.'

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

'There's nothing on.'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

Star Wars Audience

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'Now that's Real TV!'

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

"Aye, 'tis the elusive Moby Dick!"

"This lockdown is GREAT! - We can spend all day on our computers, eating takeaway junk food and watching crap TV while gambling on our iphones!"

'He ordered those 'natural male enhancements',and now he watches football all the time!'

'Did I doze off for a couple of years? Since when did cupcakes become a big deal?'

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

Do you go for Hannity or O'Reilly? Tough call. O'Reilly's presence is so big, fearless. Whereas Hannity has a wicked fast tongue and such inner strength. As symbolized externally by his jawline. O'Reilly is so tall. Something strange is happening. Coulter's a bit masculine for my tastes. Ditto. HOJ.

“We thought it was so smart getting the phone out of the bottle, but then it went right for the clickbait.”

"Can you do battle with him later?... He's watching, 'Game of Thrones'."

Unable to get going each day without her dose of Katie Couric, Lois shifted her schedule to be in sync with the star's new evening news job.

"This is why the doc said to not binge-watch the Eating Channel!"

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

TV Watch(ing) Dog for sale.

Wordplay: Me.

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

"It's 100% commercials."

'I don't believe in blind dates... the last time I got fixed up I got neutered.'

"I never said I liked this show...I'm only enjoying it because you hate it."

English People With Servants Having Problems - On Demand

"I have a great idea. Come up to my place and we'll watch all 13 episodes of House of Cards!"

'Not another elimination show!'

Couch potato.

'This unexpectedly concludes tonight's program -- the sponsor bailed out.'

"Dinner will be ready soon, I hear the pizza truck rounding the corner."