Show Binger Pillows

"Do you want the volume set to barely audible dialogue or overwhelming loud music?"

"I'm only gone one night a year and you still watched our show without me?"

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

'Unlike you, I never felt loving Lucy was a binding social contract.'

'I want to have a good talk with you.' - 'Can it wait until after primetime.'

'We interrupt this program and you can't do a thing about it - BWA HA HA HA HA HA!'

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

'There's nothing on.'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

Star Wars Audience

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'Now that's Real TV!'

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

"Aye, 'tis the elusive Moby Dick!"

'He ordered those 'natural male enhancements',and now he watches football all the time!'

'Did I doze off for a couple of years? Since when did cupcakes become a big deal?'

“We thought it was so smart getting the phone out of the bottle, but then it went right for the clickbait.”

'Wow! These advancements in TV make the news even more frightening.'

'I don't believe in blind dates... the last time I got fixed up I got neutered.'

TV Watch(ing) Dog for sale.

Wordplay: Me.

"This is why the doc said to not binge-watch the Eating Channel!"

"It's 100% commercials."

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

"I never said I liked this show...I'm only enjoying it because you hate it."

'Thanks for tuning in - we'll try to pander to you.'

Will Smith's Oscar

A man watching t.v. with his skull hinged open to reveal the same man watching the same t.v. . . .

English People With Servants Having Problems - On Demand

"I don't believe the "Smart TV" is the one always turning to women's beach volleyball."

Couch potato.

"I'm just saying, if you had to turn off the TV, would you still remember how?"

'This unexpectedly concludes tonight's program -- the sponsor bailed out.'