Turning 80 Gifts

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

Path of Life.

'Don't be silly, dear. You don't look a day over one hundred eighty three.'

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything there is to know. The trouble is remembering it.

"Life is like speeding... Once you hit 80 someone's bound to tell you to slow down and take it easy."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

Middle-Age Superheroes

Gary turns 40.

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

Inside One's Memory Bank

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

Ed's receding hairline!

Do you think I'm sixty?

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

"You've come to a fork in the road – age-defying or age-appropriate?"

"The next one is a hard-rockin', kick-ass, take-no-prisoners tune we wrote about turning sixty."

David Blaine, Age 60

'Your 40th? Well maybe if you're talking about the number of cans you've had!'

Octopus holding a balloon with the number eight

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

Gloria's life had been uneventful - until her 40th birthday, when her arms changed into swans.

"You don't have OCD or ADD. You have OLD."

A la recherche des cheveux perdus.

'Mildred....is that you?'

Boy George.

No use being self-conscious