Reaching 80 Or 90 Milestone Gifts

"This is Norman - eighty-seven and never a mid-life crisis in his life."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

Woman crying with happiness.

Church Basement Foodie

'Guess what? I won again.'

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

After many years of wavering Dennis finally makes the decision to step out of his comfort zone.

Medication for the elderly

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

A very fine vintage

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

'Take this drug...you'll be ten years younger.'

Who's Dead

'They're young hares, so it's OK for them to be a bit crazy in March, but thankfully, we've grown out of that!'

Women

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

Late Bloomers

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

'Actually, you're not having a midlife crises. It's a .723 life crises.'

"Looks like Mom is practicing getting her mask ready for Halloween tomorrow."

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

'He's feeling very proud of himself. He went to watchdog school and graduated 'Magna cum loudly.''

'Don't be silly, dear. You don't look a day over one hundred eighty three.'

"Look at it this way - the more birthdays you have, the longer you live!"

"Hal said he had big dreams...so he bought this bed."

"The only joints we roll these days are our ankles."