Turning 10 Gifts

Happy Birthday to you!

'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"Three more years of high school."

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

"He's gone goth"

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

PROBLEM AREAS

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

'I think there was a typo in the lab instructions.'

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

Fishbowl rebellion.

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

"I've tracked our GPS coordinates over the past week dad. Well, we're roaming the plains alright!"

What are you looking for in a college? A strong environmental program. Ok. Pick 4 or 5 we could visit. I've got 3 days for the trip. There's one in Ohio. Can do. One in Maine, Iowa and California. You need a good geography program. Here's another one. Where's St. Paul?

"Sure I used drugs when I was your age, but they were all prescribed for acne."

"I'll be glad when this is over and Sarah can be herself again."

Mom? Eco club is starting a campaign to eat local food. Good idea. Would you please pack me a lunch from organic stuff grown near here? Ok. I'm sure we have something. Thanks! Oh, boy. A beet sandwich.

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

Do you ever wonder if there's really a higher power? What do you mean? Is there an all-knowing being that keeps track of you? That always knows where you are

Social Networking.

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

Teenage Angst.

'Dad, can I borrow the club tonight?'

The 5 paragraph essay is sooo stupid. Why do we have to learn it? So you can get good SAT scores. That will get you into a good college, and then a good job. So you never have to write another 5-paragraph essay again.

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

"Another barnacle?!" "I was a teenage creature."

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

Spring Break.

'Don't forget to put gas in the car and the mower.'

'This book thing, Mum, where do I plug it in?'