Tv Show's Tenth Anniversary Gifts

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Theatre Masks and Butts

"My God!! - Those actors must all be really old by now...!"

Sumo Love.

Mr Punch's Illustrations to Shakspeare.

'This has been a Chris Wallace special report -- we now switch you back to Mike Wallace....'

Old year sits by 'Out' box, and new year sits by 'In' box in office.

"Motion denied then"

"You said 'give me a cool hairstyle...' You never specified which decade."

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

'On tonight's news: Katie Couric interviews Katie Couric.'

"The 10th anniversary gift is tin. I got Ralph a new tinfoil hat. He's more sedate with the extra channels."

"I'd like to say something to you, Miriam - strictly off the record, of course."

"I can't believe we've been married for 10 years and you never told me you had another leg!"

"They're called leftovers, not 'reruns'."

'Hey, honey, remember when I told you to expect a big surprise on our anniversary? Well, I snuck off to go hunting with Cliff - SURPRISE!'

Feliz Navidad! Thanks for 10 great years!

'Do you remember this bit in Anna Karenina?'

"There doesn't seem to be an end to the Eighties revival."

Trivia Pursuit

'Now that you're 10, we can tell you the truth: beauty isn't actually in the eye of the beholder, there are international standards... and you haven't met them.'

'TV: What not to watch.'

Ten

'Dr. Jekyll's parties are great... But, don't drink the punch!'

Few knew that Howie Mandel had once worked for Canada customs.

"Dad, what's inertia?" "Sorry, too trivial. Go and ask your mother!"

"Oh God, I'm almost 30..."

'You know what they say, one hundred and ten is the new one hundred.'

'My husband has such a good memory: He's never missed a birthday or a wedding anniversary...'

Happy Birthday to you!

Custer's Last Stand-Up