Turkey Trivia Expert Pillows

"Have you ever wondered why we're all the same age?"

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

"Never say you're stuffed!"

'There are facts,there are factoids, and there are just plain fun facts.'

'Haven't you ever heard of warmed up turkey?'

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

A Dog Is For Life Not Just For Christmas.

Turkey Dinner and gravity

God perfects his turkey design.

"Any talents besides tasting good?"

"He bought a thermometer for me, and I'm not even sick."

Turkey Farm Inc: 'And guess what you get for a Christmas bonus?'

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

Nicholas Parsons RIP

'I don't know what happened in there, Stanley... But I've completely lost the urge to eat. I mean it - I feel stuffed! Supposed to come back right before thanksgiving for a follow-up though.'

Frog Flycatcher.

"Hippity hoppity. Easter's on its way."

'Next year we'll bring the turkey.'

Christmas escape plan

"Bad news - your DNA was delicious."

'Want to come to the Thanksgiving play, Grandma? I have a real meaty part.'

'Voila! Pre-plucked turkey!'

"They've agreed to drop the charges, but only if you agree never to stuff the turkey again."