Turkey Talk Enthusiast Pillows

"It's getting harder and harder to find a man with a head on his shoulders."

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

'It's not what you think. It's not about our liberation.'

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

"Never say you're stuffed!"

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

'Haven't you ever heard of warmed up turkey?'

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

A Dog Is For Life Not Just For Christmas.

'You broke your wishbone. I'd suggest making a wish.'

Holiday Overkill.

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

"He bought a thermometer for me, and I'm not even sick."

'I don't know what happened in there, Stanley... But I've completely lost the urge to eat. I mean it - I feel stuffed! Supposed to come back right before thanksgiving for a follow-up though.'

Turkey Dinner and gravity

'Next year we'll bring the turkey.'

Turkey Farm Inc: 'And guess what you get for a Christmas bonus?'

God perfects his turkey design.

"Hippity hoppity. Easter's on its way."

"Bad news - your DNA was delicious."

Christmas escape plan

'Do you think they'll feed us something special for Christmas dinner?'

'Want to come to the Thanksgiving play, Grandma? I have a real meaty part.'

Turkey under mistletoe with sign that says: 'Kiss your ass goodbye'.