Turkey Tradition Keeper Gifts

'I mean, what's a mother for? We had our Thanksgiving early so I'm bringing my dinner here for you.'

"Ours is not a creative clan."

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

'Minyan Man! You've saved the day again!'

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

"The Chinese Zodiac told me to marry a sheep. Who am I to question hundreds of years of ancient Chinese wisdom?"

'It's not what you think. It's not about our liberation.'

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 11.

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"What happened to the good old Jewish holidays when all we used to do was eat?"

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

"I'm getting too old for this..."

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

"We always have pizza for Easter dinner because that's what my mom gives up for Lent."

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

"Never say you're stuffed!"

"He's retreated into nationalism."

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

The Maryland School of Art's Class of 1998 Celebrating This Week's Commencement With The Traditional Thesis Painting Toss.

Ugly Holiday Sweaters

'Haven't you ever heard of warmed up turkey?'

A Dog Is For Life Not Just For Christmas.