Festive Tradition Keeper Gifts

'I watch this Christmas cartoon every year and I still don't get why the dog eats a gigantic pile of human femur bones.'

"Ours is not a creative clan."

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

'Minyan Man! You've saved the day again!'

Ice Skater

"The Chinese Zodiac told me to marry a sheep. Who am I to question hundreds of years of ancient Chinese wisdom?"

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

"That's ridiculous. A red nose wouldn't work as a GPS system."

Christmas TV...

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 11.

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

"What happened to the good old Jewish holidays when all we used to do was eat?"

"I'm getting too old for this..."

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

"We always have pizza for Easter dinner because that's what my mom gives up for Lent."

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

The Maryland School of Art's Class of 1998 Celebrating This Week's Commencement With The Traditional Thesis Painting Toss.

It's a tradition. On hole number 1 in the first round of the season, Ernie always says that's the best shot I've hit this year!

"Room for bigger presents."

Ugly Holiday Sweaters

There's no place like Ho-Ho-Home

"It's good to see that... ...Tia Carmen teaching Gracie valuable family traditions passed down through the generations."

"He's retreated into nationalism."

"30 million cookies and thousands of gallons of milk all in one night? Yes, I'd say we've got dietary issues to address."

The Christening Party

Britain sinking and losing it's identity.

"I don't care what your father said, Santa likes milk and cookies NOT beer and pretzels!"

"If we're doing such a good job of keeping the devil away, how come we have so many of these infernal machines around here?"