Turkey Theorist T-Shirts

'Please, Grandpa Turkey! Tell us about the Christmas massacre and the Thanksgiving bloodbath!'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

Math Dreams

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

Sigmund Freud.

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

"Must be another paradigm shift."

"Bonk!"

Women's sportswear - Sale on paradigm shifts.

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

"Are you sure this is a Film Noir"

Max Weber

"The physicists doubt it, the chemists want to change it, the psychologists are trying to interpret it and the biologists don't care."

'A little squirt like Graubart would theorize that the Universe is contracting!'

Science And Society 1923

'To be honest, I would have never invented the wheel if not for Urg's ground breaking theoretical work with the circle.'

'Since you conduct only thought experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought results.'

Professor Isaac goes off on another tangent.

'Sorry, Professor Kleinzweck -- your 'Chaos Theory' program just crashed.'

'War!... What's it good for?'

'Lately, I've been thinking a lot about evolution. My theory is that it all points to 'survival of the fattest'.'

'My God Pearson you're right. All these years the greates scientific minds have been looking for the theory of everything and all we had to do was Google it!'

"I've looked at the work of Einstein and Hawking on 'time'. Dad, but they don't mention any explanation for the 'dog year'..."

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

'We think, therefore we are a tank.'

Another musical treatise from the 16th century is discovered.

"Is that it? Is that the Grand Unified Theory?"

'First particle theory, then wave theory, then plasma theory, and now lime gelatin theory.'