Turkey Talker T-Shirts

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"See? I told you those ventriloquist lessons would pay off for us some day!"

"Actually, I was pardoned by the President ... the president of Cartoonists Guild."

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

Woman on the phone.

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

Santa uses his interviewing skills on his second job, too.

Obtaining a degree in TV Broadcasting.

'The 20th century wasn't bad, but I preferred the 19th. I'm open minded for the 21st.'

"Don't fall for it! He's just trying to fatten you up for Thanksgiving!"

Christmas was the one time of year when Roger could take advantage of working in the genetic research laboratory.

"Any talents besides tasting good?"

"I had that dream again where I kill my Shrink."

'I'm sleepy all the time.'

"Those giblets are gonna have to come out."

'...There's this big dude on the other side. Nobody look! But, every time we try anything he comes after me. Now, what's that all about?'

"We're raising them for turkey bacon."

'Hank, I know you're new at turkey hunting, but that isn't the way you call turkeys.'

'Boy, that is one old Turkey.'

"What does 'giddyup' even mean?"

"Sure, it's an artificial fish. I caught it with artificial bait."

"My one-man band is breaking up."

'I survived four Thanksgivings. I deserve to accompany you on the Veterans' Parade!'

'I'm really worried Doc. I'm beginning to feel quite good about myself!'

"Are you sure you can trust this doctor?"

"We can rule out stage fright. Maybe it's performance anxiety."

"I sometimes eat and drink too much. My stomach gets very upset about it."

'Tom, I think you better rearrange your tail feathers.'