Turkey Tackle Gifts

As Americans, we set aside a special time to celebrate our bounty and give thanks.

"Is this the first time you've been fishing?"

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"Careful Hank, this one still has some fight in him."

Input From The Front Office

American Football.

Paddling upstream to save a $1.79 lure snagged on a log.

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

'Come on, come on! Bite! Oh, man... He's looking right at it!!'

Football.

Priest with Christian symbol

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Before instant replay.

'George, I know it's your favorite lure, give it up.'

Fish to angler: 'Nice try, pal, but I know plastic and feathers when I see them!'

"What the ... they've scheduled my surgery for Thanksgiving."

"Good news, you are virus free and should be able to resume hitting each other in the heads as hard as possible this fall."

'Quick! Play dead!'

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

Menace.

"Sometimes I think all this post game analysis has gone too far."

'I hate it when they use invisible line.'

'Hurry, hurry! What's he saying?'

'Look up... Look down... Look at my thumb. Gee, You're...'

'Upon further review, the ruling on the field is upheld. The catch was totally constitutional. Touchdown!'

"Are you the guys who ate my brother!?"

'That was some hit!'

Turkey Goes Into Dressing Room and Comes Out Cooked

"I take serious offense to their offense. And I am feeling very defensive about our defense. Would somebody give me a damn hug? Now Please?"

'Ralph, how much do you want for that lure? Just name it.'

'Focus on the kick, and forget about all the seven-foot tall kick blockers they have.'

Turkey with an ax to grind.

'What's your fish finder say?'

'If I find you're hiding my escaped prize Christmas turkeys there'll be hell to pay!'