Trouble With Tackle Gifts

Menace.

Fishermen dread the spot where the lures hang heavy from the trees like Spanish moss.

"Is this the first time you've been fishing?"

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

Input From The Front Office

American Football.

"This guy's a terrific defensive lineman. I once saw him chase down a quakerback for nearly 40 yards before sacking him. It was in a shopping mall, but still..."

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

'Come on, come on! Bite! Oh, man... He's looking right at it!!'

Football.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

"You know very well what fish!"

Before instant replay.

Stop the big guy!

He collects a wide range of tackle and knows precisely how to use it.

Fish to angler: 'Nice try, pal, but I know plastic and feathers when I see them!'

'This is the spot that Tackle Dealer told us to try.'

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

'Quick! Play dead!'

"Good news, you are virus free and should be able to resume hitting each other in the heads as hard as possible this fall."

"Sometimes I think all this post game analysis has gone too far."

'Hurry, hurry! What's he saying?'

'I hate it when they use invisible line.'

'Look up... Look down... Look at my thumb. Gee, You're...'

'My dad thinks I have a future in junk bonds.'

'Upon further review, the ruling on the field is upheld. The catch was totally constitutional. Touchdown!'

'That was some hit!'

'Quick! sell me a lure,any lure,I just found an empty compartment in my tackle box.'

"I take serious offense to their offense. And I am feeling very defensive about our defense. Would somebody give me a damn hug? Now Please?"

'Focus on the kick, and forget about all the seven-foot tall kick blockers they have.'

'What's your fish finder say?'

"It's always, 'hey God, thank for the win! It's never, 'hey God, need tickets?"

'I don't suppose he's congratulating him on his performance.'

'If he has worms can we take him fishing?'