Turban Stylist T-Shirts

"You have no idea how long it takes him to wash his hair."

Ski lift mobile

'I'll take it!'

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

"Next time you meet me dressed as a giant boy, it's going to cost you a pair of diamond earrings."

Redecorating Easter Island.

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

Ski kicker.

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

'They suit you.'

"We have a new line of designer hedge funds...the Topiary Group."

'Wow - My kind of man.'

"Well, the first thing we're going to do is loosen those suspenders!"

Persian

A topiary doghouse

The Burbs

"Honey,...Oscar wants to go for a walk."

"I used to be a racer: Giving people joy-rides is really really boring..."

If clothes make the man make sure yours don't make you into a twat.

"We all see it. We all see it. . ."

"I want my back-to-school clothes to be stylish yet practical...comfortable yet rugged...something that says Gracie Bermudez!"

"I knew there would be a time I could wear them without destroying my feet."

"Now, that's what I call a fashion statement!"

"So you're into pointillism."

'He wears his spikes on the inside.'

Could you make me look a little bit more 'cowy'?

"We've ruled out anything trendy."

"I never know whether I should get good goggles I'll lose after three runs, or cheap ones I can't see out of after five runs."

'I think you'd look pretty good in a bun.'

Topiary chair.

"Aren't you worried that I may be a serial killer..?"

Man with curly moustache and eyebrows.

"I hope I don't get any tanning lines."

'Forget it, I don't support them anymore.'

The Urban Utility Belt