Tummy Tuck Enthusiast Gifts

"I do bottoms, boobs and and tummy-tucks, my colleague specializes in bee-stung lips."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

"Kids these days and their piercings..."

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

Body Building

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

"Do you have any books on releasing the tiger within?"

'So much for the 'Eye of the Tiger'.'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

'Just remember, you're not alone - I'm scared to death, too.'

Anatomy.

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

'Medium well, please.'

"Well, we saved this attorney. Some poacher shot him and removed his highly-prized fin."

He really puts his heart into it!

'Will work for tummy rub.'

"Rare, medium or well done?"

Birth canal: Keep clear at all times.

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

Cosmetic pouches.

Operating room. 3 days without an accident.

'No offence. The other breast and I seemed to click.'