Tuition Savers Gifts

"Daddy made six hours of your tuition today."

British savings accounts

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

A little something aside for a rainy day

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

"I'm teaching him to rollover my 401 (k)."

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

'I know you're looking for a safe investment but have you ever heard of anyone getting wealthy investing in a bank account?'

Investing your savings

Piggy bank #5: carrying (colour).

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

Roasting the Moneybox

Saving for College.

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

'Looks like we'll have to break into the piggy bank to find our endowment funding.'

'Of course I'm squirreling away money!'