Saving For Education Gifts

'That piggy bank is for my college fund.'

'And here's my collection of stock in DiscoCorp... or as I call it, your college fund.'

"...and help my parents to pick the right mutual funds in my portfolio for my education..."

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

"I just..."

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

"We balanced our budget this month!"

"So much for password protected."

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

Lemonade - $500 A Glass! 'Yes, my prices high, but how else am I supposed to buy a Boulevart M109R? Certainly not on my allowance.'

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"To save enough money to buy my lowrider, I figure I need to keep my summer job for...10,734 days."

Dave's Discount Auto Repair...only an arm or a leg, not both!

"I'm taking your advice and saving my money!"

' Can I borrow change for the bus? With the cost of gas, I just can't justify buzzing around the city in that thing.'

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

Three people view wine price 3 ways.

"Want to trade banks with me?"

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

Yes, dear, I remembered the coupons and saved a few dollars. The Adventures of Marriedman.

"Can you check inside it for me, Mister?"