Tuesday Grumbler Pillows

"Tuesday mornings don't get enough respect. They should be hated just as much as Monday mornings."

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

Irritable trowel syndrome.

The Cat's Alarm Clock

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"Come back to bed. You know sleep deprivation lowers your sales resistance."

"The planet is all wobbly this morning."

Boring and unnecessary meetings

'He kept saying, I'm sick of weeds. I'm sick of weeds until he got sick of weeds.'

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

'I got a darn D-plus, and that's WITH cheating!'

"We saw some inspired lunacy, then had some uninspired Italian."

"Yes, you should have studied harder and no, you can't unsubscribe from 5th grade."

"OK, now here comes the lava."

"This test wasn't fair! No way it's an accurate measure of what I know!"

Can you tell me how to sue you for flunking me out of law school?

Man - 'This coffee tastes like mud!' Woman - 'It was ground this morning.'

'Why does the phone always have to ring when I'm out of the bath?!'

Le Bolshie Chef.

'Mum! Mum!... My egg's gone all runny!'

'To be perfectly honest, I hate my job: I'm not really a morning person...'

"I stole your phone, but I'm giving it back. You get so many robocalls, it's just not worth the headache."

Sorry, this game is not available in your area

"The sooner they take you off vice patrols the better."

"Another meeting?"

I don't like mondays

'This food is revolting. And such small portions.'

'The grades aren't MY fault - I think Mrs. Pomeroy is teaching-disabled.'

The mirror knew when to keep quiet. Bob hated face-to-face confrontations first thing in the morning.

"Sure, I failed Math, but I passed History, English and Science. Two out of three ain't bad."

'Irritable bowl syndrome'

"Teaching's a joy until the first bell. Then the whole day's ruined."

"Where's the snooze button on this thing?" "Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow!"

"Whoever invented the obituary page is a real jerk."