Commuter Grumbler Pillows

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

The Cat's Alarm Clock

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"Don't worry, boss, he ain't gonna be takin' his shoes off on an airplane no more."

Boring and unnecessary meetings

"The planet is all wobbly this morning."

"We saw some inspired lunacy, then had some uninspired Italian."

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

Heathrow Protesters - This airport's rubbish!

"My computer still won't work. It must still hold a grudge from when I punched it in frustration."

'I got a darn D-plus, and that's WITH cheating!'

"Yes, you should have studied harder and no, you can't unsubscribe from 5th grade."

"OK, now here comes the lava."

Le Bolshie Chef.

'Mum! Mum!... My egg's gone all runny!'

"This test wasn't fair! No way it's an accurate measure of what I know!"

'Why does the phone always have to ring when I'm out of the bath?!'

Man - 'This coffee tastes like mud!' Woman - 'It was ground this morning.'

Can you tell me how to sue you for flunking me out of law school?

'To be perfectly honest, I hate my job: I'm not really a morning person...'

"Another meeting?"

'This food is revolting. And such small portions.'

'No, I'm still standing in this stupid line looking at the back of somebody's stupid head.'

"The sooner they take you off vice patrols the better."

All Day Parking $1. Leave keys. It may be necessary to move your car to a more convenient spot.

"Perfect weather,wounderful food...and it all distracted me from spending the whole day at my computer terminal!"

"Where's the snooze button on this thing?" "Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow!"

"Teaching's a joy until the first bell. Then the whole day's ruined."

'Irritable bowl syndrome'

"Whoever invented the obituary page is a real jerk."

"If you are angry at being kept on hold, press 1, if you are furious press 2, if you are apoplectic with rage ..."

'I hate Mondays!'