Tudor Buff Pillows

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

William Shakespeare

President S Grant's Proposed Civil Service Reform not to the Taste of Certain Senators

I want to hold your hand

'Mrs Witch, you're being accused of using a poisoned apple to send a young girl into a death-like sleep. I'm placing you under arrest for the possession of illegal drugs.'

Thomas Cranmer

'Why is it always about me?'

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

Newton's Law and Order.

Privatized Jails

'With all the new laws being proposed, our tomatoes with founder genes may soon be an endangered species.'

Lady Jane Grey

'Anne Boleyn now regrets avoiding that Prenup Chit Chat with King Henry.'

"I want to report a race crime.'

Driving Mr. Qcrazy

Edmund Spenser

'And what if I did doctor the documents? I'm a doctor.'

Elizabeth I

'Are you sure this is all you can remember seeing after you were attacked?'

"You're not allowed to enter the city. Your exhaust emissions are much too high!"

"Phil, you've done a terrific job of reinventing yourself...but we see here you're still just patent pending."

"I'm failing 16th century British History, so now I have to get a Tudor."

What's 'e done, Governor?

"Here's my final exam. My lawyer said I didn't have to answer any of these questions."

Date Becomes Wolf

"Swipe left." Henry VIII

'Maybe crime doesn't pay, but there are a lot of tax advantages.'

'It just seems like everyone that I get close to goes into their own cocoon..Doctor?..'