Trying To Conceive Gifts

IVF Clinic - "All I want is a womb somewhere"

"So you're having trouble conceiving. Have you tried sex?"

'We've had a difficult time getting pregnant because my wife ovulates to the DOW.'

'Don't take this the wrong way, but these pills you have to take come in a child-proof bottle.'

Doctor checking a man's testicle to find out about fertility problems.

"Just for variety, Doc, next time let's insert the embryos doggy style."

"Hey, you two! Get a womb!"

"After trying to start a family for so long, our doctor suggested a radical approach. . . sex! On every conceivable occasion.""

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

IVF Clinic bed - 'And here we have the basis of our revolutionary new technique.'

In Vitro Fertilization.

"My wife and I are trying for a baby...."

Fertility Clinic - The consulting doctor has been very prolific.

'Sir, sprinkle a little graphite on your cereal every morning... it'll put lead in your pencil.'

"Does it say 'I'm ovulating'?"

"In brief, we'll stimulate your ovaries with daily medications or hormones, perform an oocyte retrieval at the hospital, incubate the eggs in a petri dish at the laboratory, and then sit back and let nature take its course"

"I never realized trying to have a baby would mean replacing the soft music and candlelight with an ovulation strip, a thermometer, and a starter pistol."

"Mr and Mrs. Znyzz? Your test results are back. I'm afraid you only have seven weeks left to get pregnant!"

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

"They grow up so fast."

'I told you it would be useful.'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

'Will you pipe down? I'm in a business meeting.'

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'She's just great with the children.'

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'