Truth Taster Gifts

'Telling them there is no meaning to life only ruins it for the rest of us.'

"States of tofu"

Bad for you but to die for

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Harsh Mellows.

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"Your meal sounded nice."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

'And that's how to make pancakes.'

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

Avocado Timeline

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

Big Burgers.

"Do you know our soup is world renowned?"

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

The race against gravity with an ice cream!

Chocolate Munchies. Only 100 calories...' awesome!' - '' - 'Runchy! Rurrgh!!' - '' - 'Oh, hold on. 100 calories per Munchie' - '' -

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."